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Original: 1/4/2009 3:32 PM
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Sunday, January 04, 2009

Genesis 16 — Call me Ishmael

 Close down the fertility clinics! We should all follow the example of Abram and Sarai in Genesis 16.

Abram can't have any kids with his wife, so she tells him to sleep with one of the servants named Hagar. So far we've learned that polygamy is perfectly okay when you're dealing with the Pharaoh (as long as you pretend you're just your husband's sister), or when you can't have a kid (as long as it's with one of your wife's slaves).

When the servant gets pregnant, she gets all uppity towards Sarai. In just what way, we're not told, so we'll just have to take the Bible's word on this. So Abram tells Sarai to deal with Hagar however she wants, and Hagar flees. But God will have none of that. (No fleeing that is, the abuse is fine.) If your master impregnates you and your mistress mistreats you, you have to stay put, no if's and's or but's. God sends an angel to convince Hagar to go back and "submit" to her mistress (16:9).

But never fear, the Lord feels her pain and promises her that she'll have lots of descendants, although the first one will be called Ishmael and be quite a handful—"his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him" (16:12). Abram is 86 when Ishmael is born. No one says how old or young Hagar was, but what should the mother's age matter since she's just a sassy slave anyway?

So what gems of wisdom has the Bible taught us in this chapter? If you have a slave, just get her pregnant and she'll have to submit and bare your child. This must be the right way to do it, because God sure doesn't say anything against it. And if you're a slave, submit to your masters if they can't have a baby. Bare the child and if they mistreat you, don't run away!

Yet another heartwarming and inspiring story from the Bible.
 Posted 1/4/2009 3:32 PM - 77 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments

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